It is mostly the betrayed partner who wants the answer to this
question. The betrayer is far too busy juggling their commitments and
probably doesn't even care. Love is not really one of their reasons for
cheating and they are having too good a time to reflect on this
question.
The person who cheats on their partner usually thinks that the reason is sex. This is because for some people their drive to fulfill their sexual desire is strong and having a great sex life is a big enough reason for them to stray. This applies more to men than it does to women which is partly to do with the fact that a woman is appealing to a man because she is shaped so obviously to draw attention and that women can seem so mysterious because men think in a more straightforward way. Mystery = allure = excitement = SEX.
When one person is attracted to another there usually is no love involved. They do not even know the other person therefore they cannot love them yet. Sex and cheating have nothing whatsoever to do with love!
After being attracted to a man other than her husband, it will be what this man notices about her and how attentive he is that will determine whether a woman will cheat. If he is continually more attentive, appreciative of her and intrigued by her than her own partner is it may well turn into a long-term betrayal.
So, what's love got to do with it? Well, in this scenario, after a certain amount of time a woman may well begin to feel that she loves this man as he seems so besotted with her. She feels like a million dollars in his company, absolutely special, desired and appreciated.
When a woman then compares this wonderful situation to that of her own relationship, she may well feel that she has become merely a 'home help', occasional sex partner and a chef. It is therefore easy to see why she may continue on her new course and have a full-blown affair. After all, she is having great sex with an amazing man who shows that he totally appreciates her - could it be any better?
Yes, if this was the situation with herself and her husband, it would definitely be the better scenario. It would take work, commitment, love and awareness to turn the relationship around, but it can be done.
Sex and cheating for a man is less complicated. He is attracted to a woman that he sees as beautiful and sexy. If she gives him enough attention he feel encouraged towards her. He then 'shows off' a bit, talks about his achievements and capabilities. If she admires these attributes he will find her more irresistible. It is easy for him then to be sexually aroused in her company. What's love got to do with it? Absolutely nothing and may never have particularly if sex with this woman is fantastic.
So, a woman feeling unappreciated by her partner may start to feel unattractive, sexless and boring. When a new man contradicts these feelings by being very appreciative of her she feels attractive, sexy and interesting in his company and this is dangerous territory.
When a man does not feel admired by his partner he feels worthless, incapable and less of a man. When a new woman opposes these feelings by showing him admiration he feels worthwhile, capable and very much a man - again this is dangerous territory.
Most people involved in these cheating scenarios will not be thinking in these term. This is unfortunate because if they only could they would be more likely to get together with their partners and turn their relationship back into what it once was - a wonderful place to live.
So, Sex and cheating - what's love got to do with it? As you can see mostly not much at all. Some people will confuse the love of the feeling sex gives them with the love of a person, when they take the sex out of the situation they find no reason to stay. Sometimes though, it is too late when this discovery is made. Their infidelity has been discovered and they have already lost the love and respect of a good man/woman. If only we could make the connection sooner.
The person who cheats on their partner usually thinks that the reason is sex. This is because for some people their drive to fulfill their sexual desire is strong and having a great sex life is a big enough reason for them to stray. This applies more to men than it does to women which is partly to do with the fact that a woman is appealing to a man because she is shaped so obviously to draw attention and that women can seem so mysterious because men think in a more straightforward way. Mystery = allure = excitement = SEX.
When one person is attracted to another there usually is no love involved. They do not even know the other person therefore they cannot love them yet. Sex and cheating have nothing whatsoever to do with love!
After being attracted to a man other than her husband, it will be what this man notices about her and how attentive he is that will determine whether a woman will cheat. If he is continually more attentive, appreciative of her and intrigued by her than her own partner is it may well turn into a long-term betrayal.
So, what's love got to do with it? Well, in this scenario, after a certain amount of time a woman may well begin to feel that she loves this man as he seems so besotted with her. She feels like a million dollars in his company, absolutely special, desired and appreciated.
When a woman then compares this wonderful situation to that of her own relationship, she may well feel that she has become merely a 'home help', occasional sex partner and a chef. It is therefore easy to see why she may continue on her new course and have a full-blown affair. After all, she is having great sex with an amazing man who shows that he totally appreciates her - could it be any better?
Yes, if this was the situation with herself and her husband, it would definitely be the better scenario. It would take work, commitment, love and awareness to turn the relationship around, but it can be done.
Sex and cheating for a man is less complicated. He is attracted to a woman that he sees as beautiful and sexy. If she gives him enough attention he feel encouraged towards her. He then 'shows off' a bit, talks about his achievements and capabilities. If she admires these attributes he will find her more irresistible. It is easy for him then to be sexually aroused in her company. What's love got to do with it? Absolutely nothing and may never have particularly if sex with this woman is fantastic.
So, a woman feeling unappreciated by her partner may start to feel unattractive, sexless and boring. When a new man contradicts these feelings by being very appreciative of her she feels attractive, sexy and interesting in his company and this is dangerous territory.
When a man does not feel admired by his partner he feels worthless, incapable and less of a man. When a new woman opposes these feelings by showing him admiration he feels worthwhile, capable and very much a man - again this is dangerous territory.
Most people involved in these cheating scenarios will not be thinking in these term. This is unfortunate because if they only could they would be more likely to get together with their partners and turn their relationship back into what it once was - a wonderful place to live.
So, Sex and cheating - what's love got to do with it? As you can see mostly not much at all. Some people will confuse the love of the feeling sex gives them with the love of a person, when they take the sex out of the situation they find no reason to stay. Sometimes though, it is too late when this discovery is made. Their infidelity has been discovered and they have already lost the love and respect of a good man/woman. If only we could make the connection sooner.
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You
can chat with me about relationship issues or personal development. I
am now a 'Wizpert' contributor and you can find me at:- http://wizpert.com/sue1
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